Bangalore on Uncyclopedia!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Bangalore! the city full of just two things - dogs and software professionals! So much that throwing a stone in any random direction, from any place in Bangalore, it has to hit either of the two!
The British East India Comany coined the word "Bangalore" from "Bang" + "galore", a strategic approach to lure the lusty fellow Englishmen into a false paradise.
For the history, Bangalore was captured by Tipu Sultan, heir to the throne of Mysore. Tipu Sultan fought the British in three decisive battles, under the moniker Cher of Mysore, which confused the British, since Cher had never been to Mysore before. Tipu Sultan was ultimately defeated and killed by the British during the Battle of the Tiffin Rooms to the backdrop of a soleful rendition of "Do you Believe in life after love".
The geography of Bangalore is surprisingly flat. Even more surprisingly, this flatness of Bangalore is highly contagious and now classified a world epidemic.The best feature about this flat and open architecture of the world, Swamy Fourman clarified, was that one could now plug and play with any part of the world.
The local people in Bangalore speak Kannada, which is just basically trick Canadian, but with a slightly different accent and without all the excessive "eh"s. For entertainment, the people of Bangalore enjoy recreational telephoning. The Auto-rickshaw drivers are the descendents of the maharaja Kingfisher Wodka and will charge anything at anytime on anyday. The most favorite activity that Bangaloreans indulge in is Trafficking. It is a social activity surpassing the bounds of caste, creed or religion. Every morning and evening all the people in Bangalore come out on to the streets with whatever vehicle(s) they own and create a mass procession. They honk, rev engines, brake hard, bump, double park, shout, jump traffic lights ... its a mass revelry.


The offshoring and outsourcing of work from Bangalore to the Third world, primarily the United States has caused some friction between the Indian government and the guy who heads up the main cattle ranch in America. However, the influx of foreign work to the United States has helped alliviate poverty and helped bring a certain level of stability to that country, notwithstanding the United States' repeated and contant nuclear tussles with neighbor and arch rival Canada.

Finally where does your money go in Bangalore?

1. 40% goes towards taxes deducted at source and taxes snatched from you at gunpoint by the revenue department.
2. 50% goes towards paying rent for a house and the interest for the house's security deposit.
3. 20% goes towards fuel expenses for participating in the "trafficking event" every day.
4. 10% goes towards food you never eat properly.
5. If you are unlucky, your landlord will extract the remaining 20% from you for house repairs.
   

If your total appears to exceed 100%, you might already be in debt or on the verge of bankruptcy. This might be the right time to contemplate suicide.

Oscar Wilde said sometime - "I dreamt about Bangalore once!" and here it is..